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Learning to ask – UPDATED: A Practical Framework for Improving Your Questioning Skills

Learning to ask UPDATED

Asking questions is one of the most fundamental skills that we can develop as human beings. It is also one of the most underrated and underused skills in our society. In this article, we will explore why asking questions is important, how to ask good questions, and what to do after asking a question. By the end of this article, you will have a better understanding of how to use questions as a powerful tool for learning, connecting, and solving problems.

Learning to ask – UPDATED

Why asking questions is important

Questions are the key to unlocking new knowledge, insights, and perspectives. They are also the bridge to building meaningful relationships, collaborations, and innovations. Here are some of the benefits of asking questions:

Asking questions helps you learn

When you ask a question, you are expressing your curiosity and interest in something. You are also admitting that you don't know everything and that you are willing to learn from others. This is a sign of humility and intelligence. Asking questions stimulates your brain to process information more deeply and creatively. It also exposes you to different viewpoints and experiences that can enrich your understanding of the world.

Asking questions helps you connect

When you ask a question, you are inviting someone else to share their thoughts and feelings with you. You are also showing that you care about them and that you value their opinion. This is a sign of respect and empathy. Asking questions creates rapport and trust between people. It also opens up opportunities for dialogue and collaboration that can lead to mutual growth and support.

Asking questions helps you solve problems

When you ask a question, you are challenging yourself and others to think critically and creatively about a situation. You are also seeking feedback and input that can help you improve your performance and outcomes. This is a sign of initiative and innovation. Asking questions clarifies your goals and expectations. It also reveals gaps and opportunities for improvement that can lead to better solutions.

How to ask good questions

Not all questions are created equal. Some questions are more effective than others in achieving your desired results. Here are some tips on how to ask good questions:

Be clear and specific

A good question is one that is easy to understand and answer. It should be focused on a single topic or issue, rather than vague or broad. It should also be precise and relevant, rather than ambiguous or irrelevant. For example, instead of asking "How was your day?", you can ask "What was the most interesting thing that happened today?"

Be open and curious

A good question is one that encourages exploration and discovery, rather than confirmation or judgment. It should be open-ended, rather than closed-ended. It should also be neutral and objective, rather than biased or subjective. For example, instead of asking "Do you like this idea?", you can ask "What are the pros and cons of this idea?"

Be respectful and polite

A good question is one that respects the other person's feelings and boundaries, rather than intrudes or offends them. It should be appropriate for the context and situation, rather than inappropriate or insensitive. It should also be courteous and considerate, rather than rude or demanding. For example, instead of asking "Why did you do that?", you can ask "What was your reason for doing that?"

What to do after asking a question

Asking a question is only half of the equation. The other half is what you do after asking a question. Here are some suggestions on how to make the most of your questions:

Listen actively and attentively

When someone answers your question, you should pay attention and show interest in what they are saying. You should also avoid interrupting or distracting them, unless you need to clarify something. You should also avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, unless you have evidence to support them. Instead, you should try to understand their perspective and experience, and ask follow-up questions if needed.

Show appreciation and gratitude

When someone answers your question, you should thank them and acknowledge their contribution. You should also express your appreciation for their time and effort, and for their honesty and openness. You should also compliment them on their skills and knowledge, and on their achievements and successes. This will make them feel valued and respected, and more likely to answer your questions in the future.

Follow up and take action

When someone answers your question, you should not just let it go. You should also follow up and take action based on what you learned. You should also share your feedback and results with them, and let them know how their answer helped you. You should also ask them for their suggestions and recommendations on how to improve or advance your situation. This will show them that you are serious and committed, and that you value their input.


Asking questions is a skill that can help you learn, connect, and solve problems. However, not all questions are equally effective. To ask good questions, you need to be clear, specific, open, curious, respectful, and polite. You also need to listen, appreciate, follow up, and take action after asking a question. By doing so, you will be able to unlock new knowledge, insights, and perspectives, as well as build meaningful relationships, collaborations, and innovations.


Here are some frequently asked questions about asking questions:

  • What are some examples of good questions?

Some examples of good questions are:

  • What are you passionate about?

  • How do you measure your success?

  • What are some of the challenges that you face?

  • How do you cope with stress?

  • What are some of the best practices that you follow?

  • What are some of the resources that you use?

  • What are some of the trends that you observe?

  • How do you balance your work and life?

  • What are some of the goals that you have?

  • How can I help you achieve them?

  • What are some examples of bad questions?

Some examples of bad questions are:

  • Are you stupid?

  • Who cares?

  • Why bother?

  • What's wrong with you?

  • Is that all?

  • Do you have any proof?

  • Are you sure?

  • So what?

  • Who do you think you are?

  • What's in it for me?

  • How can I improve my questioning skills?

You can improve your questioning skills by practicing them regularly and deliberately. You can also seek feedback from others on how to ask better questions. You can also read books and articles on questioning techniques and strategies. You can also watch videos and podcasts of interviews and conversations that feature good questions. You can also join online communities and forums where people ask and answer questions.



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