Mr M & Revelation - Grateful: Download Mp3 and Lyrics of this Amazing Song
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She shook hands with all the guests,and smiled a gentle response to theircongratulatory farewells; she shookhands with John and his fellow-servants;she kissed her uncle andthanked him for all his kindness toher; she embraced Lucilla and Beatricewith silent fervour, and then her statelyaunt, to whom she repeated her gratefulacknowledgements for the home and carethat had been given her.
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"If that is so, I am very grateful toyou," he said gently, "though I am afraidyou failed to see what her interests were.May I ask if you are acting under herinstructions now? Did she authorise youto make this appointment for the purposeof speaking of these things?"
Her demands upon him were notexorbitant. Indeed, she was true toher creed in not demanding anything;but for such evidences of his affectionas he voluntarily bestowed upon hershe showed herself always grateful[170]in a meek, pleased way that was verycharming to a man vain of his ownimportance, and she did not professto be more so than, in her soft heart,she really was.
The little woman was not shocked,nor was she dissatisfied with thestate of things that this naïve revelationdisclosed to her. She was[185]deeply thankful to know that Rachel,after all, was happy; but she was notsorry to know also that she was to thisextent faithful to her true love, who haddealt so well by her.
She wept herself ill, sitting now in hislibrary chair, now in his office, now inhis dressing-room, with mementoes ofhis domestic occupations and the homelycompanionship of nearly half-a-dozenwedded years around her; missing him[210]from his accustomed place with a senseof having lost one of the best andkindest husbands that ever ungratefulwoman had.
"I am so glad, and so much obliged to you, Mr. Millard,"said Phillida, a gleam of enthusiastic feeling, almostchildlike, suddenly showing itself through the grave exterior.This little revelation of the self shut within thedisciplined self without puzzled Millard and piqued thecuriosity he felt to understand what manner of younggirl this was, habitually so self-mastered, and apparentlyso full of unknown power or of unawakened sensibilities.An apprehension of potencies undeveloped in Miss Callendergave her new acquaintance the feeling of an explorer[Pg 83]who stands on the margin of a land virgin andunknown, eager to discover what is beyond his sight.For Millard's main interest in life lay in the study of thepersonalities about him, and here was one the like ofwhich he had never seen. The social naturalist hadlighted on a new genus.
The last remark, by focusing what she had said beforeupon Millard, only made the matter worse. But thetalk was interrupted at this point by Mrs. Gouverneur,who came to inquire if her younger companions wereready to go. Millard was a little sorry for the interruption.He could not but feel that he was in some sort under condemnationby Miss Callender, and there was somethingabout Miss Callender which made one respect her moraljudgment and desire to stand well in her estimation.But the conversation in the carriage took another turn,and as she approached her own home it occurred to Phillidathat Millard's remark at the time of his call impliedthat his acquaintance with the family might depend onher inviting him. She felt grateful to him for his gracefulattentions during the evening, and when he left herat the door she extended her hand and said:
"Why shouldn't they do such things for her? Theyhardly know what to do with their money, and theyought to be grateful to her," said Phillida with heat."Charley, I don't like to have you talk so about so gooda woman. I know her and love her. You don't knowher, and your words seem to me harsh and unjust."
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"This seemed almost to subdue her. She said thatshe supposed people would expect her to do something atsuch a time. It was always expected that 'people ofwealth' should show themselves grateful. What couldshe do that would not offend such touchy people?
Phillida was now looking directly at her visitor with afixed and hopeless melancholy which puzzled Mrs. Frankland,who had expected that she would seize gratefullyupon any advice tending to relax the rigor of her self-sacrifice.Phillida's attitude was incomprehensible to hervisitor. Could it be that she had resolved to break withher lover at all hazards?
Phillida was puzzled to reply to this speech. She didnot feel proud of her gift of faith-healing; hardly wasshe grateful for it. It was rather a burden laid on her,which had been mainly a source of pain and suffering.[Pg 285]But she could not bring herself to enter on a subject sopersonal with a stranger.
By the time the coupé reached the curb in front ofthe Graydon, Millard had fixed in his mind the firstmove in his campaign, and had scribbled a little note ashe stood at the clerk's counter in the office. Handingthe driver a dollar as a comprehensible hint that speedwas required, and, taking Robert with him, he was soonbowling along the yet rather empty Fifth Avenue. Healighted in front of a rather broad, low-stoop, brownstonehouse, with a plain sign upon it, which read "Dr.Augustine Gunstone." What ills and misfortunes hadcrossed that door-stone! What celebrities had heresought advice from the great doctor in matters of life anddeath! Few men can enjoy a great reputation and beso unspoiled as Dr. Gunstone. The shyest young girlamong his patients felt drawn to unburden her sorrows tohim as to a father; the humblest sufferer rememberedgratefully the reassuring gentleness of his voice and manner.But Millard made no reflections this morning; herang the bell sharply.
Phillida's face showed her deeply moved. After apause and a struggle she said: "Charley is sorry for me,that is all. He thinks I may die, and he feels gratefulfor my attention to his aunt. But if he had to begin overagain he would never fall in love with me."
"Miss Callender wishes me to say that she is not ableto bear an interview. With the utmost respect for Mr.Millard and with a grateful appreciation of his kindattention during her illness, she feels sure that it is betternot to renew their acquaintance."
"Yes, yes," replied Phillida. "I know. You neverdid a generous thing in your life without explaining itaway. But I know you too well to be imposed on. Ishall always say to myself, 'There's one noble and disinterestedman under the sky, and that's my brave CousinPhilip.' Good-by." And standing on the first step downshe reached him her hand over the baluster rail, lookedat him with a happy, grateful face which he never forgot,and pressed his hand, saying again, "Good-by, Philip,"and then turned and went down-stairs.
We are indebted to John Crosse, whose investigations and conversation are always stimulating. We are also most grateful to Ted Wells, to whom we owe the first visit to these houses and the discovery of the fascinating stories of their inhabitants.
How do you really want to live? What are you most excited about? What are you grateful for? Do you often feel "stuck" in your life? Are you unable to make changes or break through past beliefs? We often look outside ourselves for these answers. When we do, we give away our power. It's time to find your own answers...uncover your own internal motivations...and set your own rules!